Install the app
How to install the app on iOS

Follow along with the video below to see how to install our site as a web app on your home screen.

Note: This feature may not be available in some browsers.

YOU MAY NEED A NEW PSYCHIC IF...

UPMAN

Be Yourself...Everyone else is taken.
V I P
Joined
Sep 27, 2017
Messages
371
Reaction score
5,195
Points
93
* He keeps shaking black crystal ball and says, "Ask again later."

* Every time you draw the Death card, she yells "Go Fish!"

* Looks suspiciously like that guy who fixed your muffler last week.

* His idea of an "out of body experience" involves whipped cream and women's clothing.

* His spoon bending requires two pliers.

* Sign in window: "As Seen on '60 Minutes."

* During card-reading, asks if you want to "hit" or "stand."

* Insists that your astrological sign is "The Armadillo."

* Psychics Magazine rates her just below fortune cookies, just above your mom.

* Repeatedly attempts to read your palm with his genitalia.

* Shakes her crystal ball, then predicts a large snowstorm.

* He keeps shaking black crystal ball and says, "Ask again later."

* Every time you draw the Death card, she yells "Go Fish!"

* Looks suspiciously like that guy who fixed your muffler last week.

* His idea of an "out of body experience" involves whipped cream and women's clothing.

* His spoon bending requires two pliers.

* Sign in window: "As Seen on '60 Minutes."

* During card-reading, asks if you want to "hit" or "stand."

* Insists that your astrological sign is "The Armadillo."

* Psychics Magazine rates her just below fortune cookies, just above your mom.

* Repeatedly attempts to read your palm with his genitalia.

* Shakes her crystal ball, then predicts a large snowstorm.



Psychic And A Woman

A woman went to the local psychic with the hope of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic's eyelids began to flutter and she began to moan.

Eventually, a voice was heard, 'Granddaughter? Are you there?'

The granddaughter, wide-eyed responded, 'Grandma? Is that you?'

'Yes granddaughter, it's me.'

'It's really you, Grandma?' the woman repeated.

'Yes, it's really me, granddaughter.'

The woman paused a moment, 'Grandma, I have just one question for you.'

'Anything, my child.'

'When did you learn to speak English?'



I went to a psychic one time who was so smug and please with herself that I felt an overwhelming urge to punch her right in the face.
I struck a happy medium.
 
Back
Top