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Sticky Fun Mega Thread

A man enters a bar and sees at the bottom of the room a gaming table. This is a game of poker that is held there. There are six players among which, a dog, a real dog. Intrigued, the man looks at the game and realizes that the players are acting as if nothing had happened. The dog holds his place, plays, raises, 3Bet sometimes. He advances the chips when necessary. Surprised all the same by the situation, he approaches the table a little more and between two hands asks one of the players: "I can not believe that a dog can play poker! He must be the smartest dog in the world! wow! The player turns discretely with a slight grin and slips: "He must not be the smartest. Every time he has a good hand, he moves his tail.
 

An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away the last days of her long life...​

...when all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.

''Well, now,'' says the old lady, ''I guess I would like to be really rich.''

* POOF * Her rocking chair turns to solid gold.

''And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess.''

* POOF * She turns into a beautiful young woman.

''Your third wish?'' asks the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. ''Ooh - can you change him into a handsome prince?'' she asks.

* POOF *

There before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear, ''Bet you're sorry you had me neutered.'
 
Everyone asked a 100 year-old man for his health secrets:
The old man said: “I’ll tell you you a secret.
I’ve been married for 75 years. Promised my wife when we got married that when two people quarrel, the loser has to walk for 5 kilometers.
I’ve been walking 5 kilometers everyday for 75 years!”

Everyone asked again:”But how come your wife’s very healthy as well?”

The old man answered: “I’ll tell you another secret: she’d been following me to make sure I really finish the 5 kilometers!
 
A man went to a monastery and asked to join the monks. The head monk said, “You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every five years.” The man agreed. After five years, the monk asked him his two words. “Bed hard,” he replied. Another five years went by, and the monk asked again. “Food bad,” he said. Five more years passed, and the monk asked again. “I quit,” he said. “I’m not surprised,” the monk replied, “you’ve been complaining since you got here.”
 
That's a humorous anecdote...even with limited speech, one's true nature and attitudes can still shine through.
 
Dear John,

I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place.

All my love,

Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx

P.S. Congratulations on winning last week's Powerball lottery.
 
A Frenchman, an Italian and a Russian all end up in hell. The Frenchman begs to make one last call home to see how his family is coping. The devil says, "Fine, it’ll cost you an extra thousand years in the flames." The Frenchman agrees, and tearfully listens to his wife sleeping with his brother. The Italian begs to call home to see how his daughters are doing. "That’ll be an extra thousand years in the flaming pit." says the devil. "So be it." says the Italian, and weeps as he listens to his children selling the farm. "Now I want to call home," says the Russian, and grabs the receiver. He hears his neighbors robbing his house and hangs up in disgust. "How many years is that?" he asks the devil. "None." Says the devil. "How dare you? shouts the Russian, "You took a thousand agonizing years off that Frenchie and the Italiano, what’s wrong? Is my pain not good enough for you?" "No, no," says the devil, "it's just that local calls are free.
 
Putin is sitting in his office when his telephone rings "Hallo, Mr. Putin!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy Down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on ya!" "Well, Paddy," Putin replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!" Putin paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring ya back. Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Putin, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Putin asks. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor." Putin sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke" "Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to ya." Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Putin, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well." Putin was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!" "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring ya back." Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Putin! I am sorry to inform ya that we have had to call off the war." "Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Putin. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and finally decided there's no way we can feed 200,000 Russian prisoners."
 
Russian's situation is so dire that even the devil can't make it worse🤣
 
Dear Belinda,

I received your letter and I understand how difficult this time must be for you. I want you to know that I appreciate your heartfelt words. However, I believe it's best for both of us to move forward separately.

I truly hope you find peace and happiness in the future.

Sincerely,John
 
Haha, that's quite a comical tale! It really highlights the Irish wit and practicality in an amusing way. The ending is classic—solving an international conflict over a few pints of Guinness
 
Haha, that's a clever and humorous way to stay healthy and keep a long-lasting marriage! It sounds like they both found a fun and effective way to stay active together. Plus, having a supportive partner certainly contributes to overall health and happiness.
 
It's always fun when a joke takes an unexpected turn like that. Poor cat-turned-prince!
 
Quick thinking on his part, turning a tragic event into a clever response.
 
I guess even the smartest dogs can't hide their excitement when they've got a winning hand!
 
It's all about perception..The bartender's reaction adds an unexpected twist to the situation
 
St. Peter certainly has a sense of humor at the gates of Heaven
 
That's a good lesson in humility and respect for our elders. Age and experience can be powerful assets!
 
Haha, that's a good one! I wasn't expecting that twist at the end
 
Sometimes you just need to think outside the box to take a break from work!
 
An Italian businessman goes to Indonesia for a business trip. He hates Indonesian food, so he asked the concierge in his hotel, "Is there any restaurant where I can find Italian food here?" The concierge says, "You're lucky sir, a new pizza restaurant just opened and they deliver." The businessman asks for the restaurant's number, goes back to his room, and orders the pizza.

30 minutes later, the delivery person shows up with the pizza. He takes the pizza and eats it. Suddenly he's sneezing uncontrollably and shouting to the delivery person, "What did you put on this pizza?!"

The delivery man bows deeply and says, "We put exactly what you ordered on the phone, sir. It's pepper only"
 
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