Confucius on Women

[Katzenfreund]

Confucius He Say:

• When woman go wrong, man go right after her.
• Man cannot exchange woman of forty for two twenties.
• Man who get new car for wife do great trade.
• When man steal your wife, best revenge let him keep her.
• Marriage like violin. After music finish, still have strings.
• Eighty percent of husbands cheat in America. Rest cheat in Europe.
• Better lay a short girl than not a tall.

And one by Katz:

• Woman can go far with smile. She can go lot further with smile and cleavage. (Katzenfreund)

 

[SHALLY]

ha ha nice one pal

 

[bmark240]

Maharishi Phucknuckel's Guide to Zen:

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just F*@K off and leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.

3. The darkest hours come just before dawn. So if you are going to steal your neighbours milk and newspaper, thats the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you arent getting any.

5. Dont aspire to become irreplaceable. If you cant be replaced, you cant be promoted.

6. Remember, no one is listening until you fart.

7. Never forget that you are unique, like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares whether youre dead or alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

10. Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, youre a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you dont succeed, give up skydiving.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. Have you ever lent someone a 20 and never seen that person again? It was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you dont have to remember anything.

15. Some days we are the flies; some days we are the windscreens.

16. Dont worry, it only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgement comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgement.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no feet.

20. There are two theories about how to win an argument with a woman. Neither one works.

21. Generally speaking, you arent learning much if your lips are moving.

22. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

23. Experience is something you dont get until just after you need it.

24. When we are born we are naked, wet, hungry and we get smacked on our arse. From there on in, life gets worse.

25. The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.


Remember not to forget that which you do not need to know.