When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone,
don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the
number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying "Hello."I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with
Robyn Carter?"Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f-ing number!" and
the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude .
When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally
transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number
again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're a jerk!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'jerk' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every
couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell,
"You're a jerk!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'jerk' calling would have to stop. So,
I called his number and said, "Hi,this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling
to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the
phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jerk!" and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW
cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd
been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back
window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first jerk (I
had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW jerk, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell
me where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow house,
and the car's parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen," I asked, "When's a good
time to catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're a jerk!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two jerks to call.
Then I came up with an idea. I called jerk #1. He said, "Hello." I said, "You're a jerk!" (But I
didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you still there?" I said, "Yeah," He screamed, "Stop calling
me," I said, "Make me," He asked, "Who are you?" I said, "My name is Don Hansen." He said,
"Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "Jerk, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow house, I
have a black Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had
better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, jerk," and hung up.
Then I called Jerk #2. He said, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, jerk," He yelled, "If I ever find out who
you are..." I said, "You'll what?" He exclaimed, "I'll kick your butt," I answered, "Well, jerk,
here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in
Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in time to watch two jerks
beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and
surrounded by a news crew.
NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work.
don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the
number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying "Hello."I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with
Robyn Carter?"Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f-ing number!" and
the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude .
When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally
transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number
again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're a jerk!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'jerk' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every
couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell,
"You're a jerk!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'jerk' calling would have to stop. So,
I called his number and said, "Hi,this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling
to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the
phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jerk!" and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW
cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd
been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back
window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first jerk (I
had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW jerk, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell
me where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow house,
and the car's parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen," I asked, "When's a good
time to catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're a jerk!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two jerks to call.
Then I came up with an idea. I called jerk #1. He said, "Hello." I said, "You're a jerk!" (But I
didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you still there?" I said, "Yeah," He screamed, "Stop calling
me," I said, "Make me," He asked, "Who are you?" I said, "My name is Don Hansen." He said,
"Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "Jerk, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow house, I
have a black Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had
better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, jerk," and hung up.
Then I called Jerk #2. He said, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, jerk," He yelled, "If I ever find out who
you are..." I said, "You'll what?" He exclaimed, "I'll kick your butt," I answered, "Well, jerk,
here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in
Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in time to watch two jerks
beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and
surrounded by a news crew.
NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work.