In addition to reports that he was seriously injured in airstrikes at the onset of the U.S.-Iran conflict, new rumors arose this week that the newly chosen Supreme Leader, Mojtaba Khamenei, is also incredibly gay. Upon further investigation, however, the signs may have always been there.
clear signs the ayatollah is gay:
- Those fabulous long, flowy robes: Perfect for sashaying and twirling around Tehran.
- He has a surprising number of decorative pillows in his secret underground bunker: Everyone knows what this means.
- Was caught last year snuggling with another mullah on the Jumbotron at a Coldplay concert: Being at the Coldplay concert alone would have been obvious enough.
- His favorite Olympic event is figure skating: Especially the males.
- Carries a pink Quran: Word has it he likes to post social media pictures of it open next to his morning coffee.
- He has secretly been lobbying for a closed-door summit with Lindsey Graham: He was just playing hard-to-get this whole time.
- Ordered the call to prayer to be followed by "YMCA": Reports indicate he may also be an honorary member of The Village People.
- Asked for an "all volleyball scene" cut of Top Gun: There's only one explanation for this.
- He has more than one beard: No other signs needed.
Even someone in a coma can't deny the clue listed above. What other signs are there that the ayatollah is gay? Post your thoughts in the comments.