“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”
Police officer: “Pull over.”
Harry: “No, it’s a cardigan. But thanks for noticing.”
War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
He knows nothing; he thinks he knows everything – that clearly points to a political career.
As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
The only good thing about going bra-less at my age is that it pulls the wrinkles right out of my face.
Police officer: “Pull over.”
Harry: “No, it’s a cardigan. But thanks for noticing.”
War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
He knows nothing; he thinks he knows everything – that clearly points to a political career.
As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
The only good thing about going bra-less at my age is that it pulls the wrinkles right out of my face.
