Woman1: "Do you ever talk to your man during sex?"
Woman2: "Only if he phones me."
**********
What's the difference between a smart man and a stupid man?
Nothing. They both think they know everything.
**********
My husband added some spice to our marriage.
He's left home.
**********
Why do women really need men about the house?
Because they still haven't invented a vibrator that can do the dishes, cut the lawn, paint the house.........
**********
A woman goes out to buy a gun.
"It's for my husband." she explained to the shop owner.
"But, madam, guns are very personal. They need to be properly suited to their owner. Why not bring your husband along?"
"Because it would ruin the surprise: he doesn't even know I'm going to shoot him."
**********
Why don't men get piles?
Because they're perfect a***holes.
**********
Why are married women heavier than single women?
When single women come home they go to see what's in the fridge then go to bed. A married woman comes home, see what's in bed then go to the fridge.
**********
How many men does it take to wallpaper the dining room?
Four if you slice them thinly.
Woman2: "Only if he phones me."
**********
What's the difference between a smart man and a stupid man?
Nothing. They both think they know everything.
**********
My husband added some spice to our marriage.
He's left home.
**********
Why do women really need men about the house?
Because they still haven't invented a vibrator that can do the dishes, cut the lawn, paint the house.........
**********
A woman goes out to buy a gun.
"It's for my husband." she explained to the shop owner.
"But, madam, guns are very personal. They need to be properly suited to their owner. Why not bring your husband along?"
"Because it would ruin the surprise: he doesn't even know I'm going to shoot him."
**********
Why don't men get piles?
Because they're perfect a***holes.
**********
Why are married women heavier than single women?
When single women come home they go to see what's in the fridge then go to bed. A married woman comes home, see what's in bed then go to the fridge.
**********
How many men does it take to wallpaper the dining room?
Four if you slice them thinly.